Eastwood vs. Ghandi

Usually, I use this blog to instruct anyone reading it on how they should think and feel, and, if there's space left over, how they should act. Today is different, though. Today we'll be focusing on how to act, without asking those pesky questions like "Why?" or "Won't a lot of innocent people be incinerated?" or "Good god, have you lost your f$^%ing mind?", because the answer to all of these questions is the same: questioning is for pussies, and action is for badasses. Clint Eastwood killed a lot of people without stopping to ask questions, while Ghandi did a lot of questioning without ever killing anyone, and I think we all know who we would take in a bar fight. So here, in convenient 6 step form, is how you should act, in order to be a badass:

1) Buy a gun and use it to kill something. Preferably a communist, but there's no reason to be picky.
2) Drink a large quantity of cheap whiskey, and repeat Step 1.
3) Develop knee-jerk political opinions on several issues. This sounds like you need to think, but you can just rip up the opinion sections from a couple of newspapers and pull random sentences out of a hat. Why, you ask? Stop being such a whiny bitch and wait for Step 4.
4) Find someone who disagrees with one or more of your newfound, deeply held convictions, and start a fight. If physical weakness or a low pain threshold prevents you from winning a fight, make sure you have a larger friend to hold you back while you yell loudly and gesture like a pissed off orangutan wearing a $75 polo shirt.
5) Join a political party, fraternity, charity, church, university, or any other social organization. Treat anyone who belongs to a different organization as if their opinions and goals are diametrically opposed to yours, and publicly announce that you will destroy them with God on your side. For example, if you attend San Diego State University, you should remember that Presbyterians, Pi Kappa Alpha, and the Green Party are a bunch of lying, pig-f%*&ing Nazis whose days are numbered.
6) Do the same thing with people from other countries.
7) Buy an even bigger gun and use it to carry out your threats from Part 5, then petition the government to carry out your threats from Part 6.

All this may seem incomprehensible, violent, and pointless, but can anything incomprehensible and violent really be pointless? Don't answer that. It was a rhetorical question, which is the only acceptable kind of question, assuming you answer it yourself like Donald Rumsfeld does, so allow me to do so. Wait, what was the question?