Self Confidence

Are you self-confident? Of course you are. As a reader of this blog, and a person who accepts my opinions as gospel, you can rest assured that, should you ever need a quick answer to one of the deep mysteries of life, you can simply reach into your gut and violently regurgitate a few mangled fragments of cultural criticism stolen from the Internet and drunkenly mashed into my keyboard to the sound of Pat Robertson waving his pitchfork and screaming for the head of Hugo Chavez on a plate. But I'm off topic.

What I was planning to say was that even the most self-confident of us sometimes find occasion to doubt ourselves. Strange questions about the relationship between large numbers of small chemical reactions and human consciousness, your bizarre failure to reach infinity despite counting continuously all weekend, and the popularity of Ryan Seacrest may continue to haunt you, and you may occasionally become lost while reading my overly long and convoluted sentences, rendering my advice confusing and leaving you up the creek.

In these times of need, you might turn to the television for guidance. This will usually work, but what if there's just a "Charmed" marathon and a bunch of Lifetime movies on? What then, you poor bastard? Do you just pound down a bunch of Jagerbombs, load up your Colt .45, and slog through 27 hours of 9/11 conspiracy videos on youtube until you finally collapse in the puddle of tears and vomit covering your desk and floor? Maybe.

Or maybe there's a better option. But probably not. Cheers.