Censorship

I am beginning to get tired of being censored all the time. As an American, it is my God-given right to say whatever I want, whenever I want, without the fear of someone telling me, "Hey, buddy, shut the f&@k up," or "Your kind isn't welcome around here," or "Hey man, this is my apartment. You can't just barge in here and start yelling about some Jewish conspiracy. Who the hell are you anyway? And what are you doing waving that gun around in my house? Damn, I've gotta start locking my doors." Don't believe me, read the Constitution while you're really drunk.

But I'm not just talking about the freedom to wear blackface to the mall and yell political slogans at people while they eat dinner in their own house. I'm talking about a lesser known freedom, and one which is under attack at this very moment, all across America: the freedom to use other peoples' and organizations' web space to promote viewpoints that they consider offensive.

That's right, newspapers, political organizations, bloggers, and private citizens all over the country are being permitted to remove comments from their websites, simply because they disagree with the opinions of the people posting them. Comment "moderation" is simply the newest form of censorship, and one that is being used, very effectively, to stifle minority viewpoints. Especially those of white, Protestant men with anger management issues. This is clearly outlawed by the First Amendment. I'll spare you the long-winded details and just show you the relevant section:

"...no...prohibiting the free exercise...of speech, or...the...i..n..t..ern..e..t..."

It's all there, people, you just have to read carefully. Anyone with a website* that allows comments is obligated by law to use their server space to store and display any information that anyone else wants to put on it. No matter that you pay the server fees, and that the domain name is registered to you. The Constitution protects my right to put my soapbox on your blog (just like your lawn) and yell anything I want, no matter how "insane" or "bizarre", whether it's a simple swear word, or a direct death threat against your children.

So there you have it. Free speech is a universal right, except for illegal or recent immigrants. If you don't want people's off-topic or violently offensive writing on your website, you can always stop allowing comments, or you can change you URL once a week so that no one can find your site. But if you allow readers to post on your personal baking or fishing blog, then I claim my right as an American to anonymously call you a Nazi on your comment thread. So go ahead, you fascist, gingerbread-baking bastard. Prove me right and censor me.

*It has come to my attention that many people outside the United States believe that they are not subject to U.S. law. This sticky legal point is currently being settled with guns.