Canada Sucks
Some of you out there may not approve of the title of this post, and I might even be accused of being a racist. However, the Canadiens are not a race, they are a hockey team, and the Canadians aren't a race either, they're just polite Americans with funny accents and free medical care. In fact, the title of this blog entry is a little misleading, as I have been to Canada twice and found it to be a very nice place filled with friendly people and progressive politics.
What I really meant to say, and what would have been a more appropriate title, is that Magdalena, New Mexico sucks. That's much better, because not only is it the way I feel, it's an objective fact. If you don't believe me, read its Wikipedia article (keeping in mind that Wikipedia's policies prevent articles from stating that something sucks, so you might have to read between the lines a little), or just look at it here on Google Maps. Seriously, this place is a barren, God forsaken hell hole out in the middle of the desert. It has one gas station, the entire town lies directly on the highway, and its entire economy is dependent on speeding tickets given out by their cop (singular).
Which brings me to my next point: I am a fugitive from justice, and I can never again risk entering the state of New Mexico for fear of incarceration. That's right, I refuse (or repeatedly forget) to pay the extortion fee leveled against me for reaching 65 mph eight seconds too early, and so a warrant has been issued for my arrest (I think). So if anyone from New Mexico is reading this, the next time you're down at the Department of Motor Vehicles, tell them that they can have my $65 when they pry it from my cold, dead hands (or when I finally remember to mail that damn ticket). And Magdalena, New Mexico (and not Canada after all) sucks.
7 comments:
Until they pry it form your cold, dead hands?
That sounds very Charleston Heston, Jeremy.
"Get your hands off me, you damn dirty ape!"
I plan to personally pry Charlton Heston's gun from his cold, dead hands and put a pink flower in the barrel. It's the way that I think he would least want it all to end.
what i want to know is how you drove so close to a place named Pie Town without going there. i'm very disappointed in you.
http://www.pietown.com/
I think this may persuade you.
Pie town...
Rahul, I was totally expecting that to be some gross heterosexual hommage to the vagina. Breeders, sheesh.
Can you tell I'm squandering my snow day?
Everyone should know that Pietown is a scam. It's a crappy little town, just like Madgalena, and it has very few pies.
it's amazing that they refer to this place as a "village" in wikipedia. I thought villages in america died out with in introducton of the steam engine and the extinction of buffalo.
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